|
|
原帖由 v2rain 于 20-5-2011 17:32 发表
我作文才6分而已的啊 请谨慎看待我的意见……
Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?
at least 250 words
When it comes to the issue of whether to increase the price of petrol or other fossil fuel is the best way we can solve the increasingly disturbing traffic and pollution problems, personally, I cannot say it's a trick given by Mr. monopoly, but I think we can never solve this environmental concern at all by the given way.
第一段第一句太长了，可以考虑分成两个句子。用前后指代来串联起来会更自然一点。
It seems might be true that to higher the price of petrol and diesel can contribute to the decrease of frequency of using of cars or airplanes on daily basis. However, none of us would like to go back to the inconvenient and inefficient status qua that people have to do much more and spend a great deal of time and expenses on travelling, which can be thought of as a kind of wasting of life compared with our currently modern lifestyle. What can be more disturbing is that some car owners who are not wealth enough, may be not able to afford the rocket-high prices any more; therefore, many of them will be deprived of interests they have had.
第二段
It seems might be true 好像语法不对 seem 跟 be 都是动词，要用也只能用maybe，但是用maybe 我也觉得很奇怪。建议直接去掉might be 或用possibly跟probably。
the decrease of frequency of using of cars or airplanes 好多of啊。 可以这么说 decreasing the frequency of cars and airplanes utilization……
do much more 貌似有点煞风景。 That on traveling, people have to take it with more effort and to spend a …..
disturb 用过就换词为好。Annoy。 后面跟的从句感觉需要重写……立意再斟酌斟酌……
的确语法不对 应该是用to do----it seems to might be true
可以这么说 decreasing the frequency of cars and airplanes utilization---绝了,学习了
后面跟的从句感觉需要重写……立意再斟酌斟酌……--------俺被中石化给激动了 有木有啊
Given that the added price can be used as financial resources to cop with various problems caused by fuel-consumed vehicles, it may sound reasonable. Nevertheless, in reality, while we have to concede that the price of the fossil oil has included many taxes imposed by governments in most of countries around the world and the related taxes have never been relieving, the fact is that the environment problems have never been changed positively.
第三段
cop with？不懂……
many taxes最好写 good amount of tax
cop - cope 各种拼写错 听力就是这么死掉的
many taxes最好写 good amount of tax 其实应该有个更地道的表达以表达税种多税值大,但显然good amount is better enough了
Therefore, the way of preventing our precious environment should not be met at expense of breaking the market rule and compulsively putting the heavy burden on the people, but should be taken in other measures. Actually, there are many effective approaches to achieve this aim including popularizing the hi-tech vehicle using green and renewable fuel and developing well-planned city road structure and reasonable traffic regulation. Also, raising the public consciousness of significance of environment protection is an important component of measures tackling the issue, which means encourage people to do their own affect.
第四段
preventing our precious environment from what要写上去，不然就不完整了……
句子好长……我吃不消了……
preventing our precious environment from what要写上去，不然就不完整了…… 可以加上 from manipulating the price么?
In conclusion, there is a generally a wide rang of ways we should try to improve the situation. I think increasing the price of necessaries of people’s lives is nether reasonable nor viable.
最后一段好眼熟……
眼熟是因为这句是bee同学写的 直接抢来用的 但貌似这个句子是俺以前给调的 所以就不客气了 |
|
发表于 20-5-2011 16:58:16
收藏
赞
踩
楼主
每一句都觉得太长 我话痨 我检讨.
发现俺中文排的顺序也够乱套的 面壁去
