分享学习计划+每天作文练习

xiaojia

大家一起加油吧。

nonmemo

楼主，以后不要再说是4 6级了，只有在校生才能考吧。
我也要和楼主一起努力。

shan8006

30#的TX，首先很感谢你的建议，你说的很对，我的作文词都是小姨十天里的，背的滚瓜烂熟，自然就用上了，不知道用得对不对，但是按照例句改的，语法一直是我的弱项，没办法，基础不过关。你推荐的帖子我很仔细地看了，是很有道理的，但现在压分紧，要考四个6还是得把目标定高点，我的目标是四个7。其实我是需要平均6，四个6，四个7都可以移民，只不过，475,176,175的关系而已。但是拜读了本论坛的一帖，觉得万一四个6出来了，担保没有了。。。所以还是四个7保靠。我也不是没有自知之明，四个7真的是非常之难，唯有全力以赴尝试着拿下它了。

今天真的是非常糟糕的一天，昨天夜班很忙，一宿没睡，今天早上还要开车把女儿接回家。回到家已经10点多了，查了下分数还没出来，和老婆一起照顾女儿到十二点，想睡一会还有作文等着我写呢，今天其它项目看来是没法子复习了。没想到一觉睡到五点，强迫自己起来写作文，现在刚吃完晚饭，晚上还有一个夜班要上，庆幸的是明天就可以休息了 。前面查了下成绩，overall 5.5 L6.5 R5 W4.5 S5.5 阅读的分数超出我的想象，填差格了还能对一半以上，作文的分数就可惜了，对我来说也是个教训——不到最后绝不轻言放弃，灌篮高手里的至理名言现在是领会得彻底了。口语是我所没想到的，因为我觉得发挥不错，所有题目都答出来了，也没有长时间的硬直时间，纠结啊，难道是传说中的压分？但好像没必要压我这个6吧。最可惜的是总分没到六，那对我来说就是不给后路了。

我不想炫耀自己的辛苦，这个帖子也不是炫耀贴。我以前听到过一句话，怕吃苦吃苦一辈子，不怕吃苦吃苦半辈子。现在的苦是为了将来的甜，我很坚信这句话。以前，当我第一次和一同事很真诚的谈心时才知道移民这回事，我就紧追不舍，无奈实力悬殊要求还一年高过一年，从四个5，到四个6，和将来的四个7。而启蒙我的那个同事在四个5时徘徊了6年多，曾经论坛中的友人已经在澳洲生根发芽，而他很想跟我一起奋斗，但想归想，职业评估也出来了，但至今一次雅思都没考过，听说明年新政策马上就放弃了。对于我来说，他作为一个领路人，我真的为他惋惜，有梦想是不够的，为梦想所付出才是尊重梦想，不然则是空谈，是眼高手低。现在的苦是为将来的甜，我还是那句话，这个世界上值得我们欣赏的有太多太多，但不是现在，而是将来无忧无虑的享受生活！

感谢大家对我的鼓励，真的对我帮助很大，写下自己的肺腑之言与大家共勉！

The fifth essay

Pressure on the school and university students is increasing and students are pushed to hard work when they are very young. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Answer:

Currently, increasing school and university students are suffering large pressure from schooling and upbringing, thus they have to work hard to deal with their school days. Then, whether it is a positive development or not has been a topic of discussion.

"Don't let your children lose at the starting point", that has became a motto that claimed by the most of parents. They think children have to study and study on various areas until they become versatile for the sake of confronting the increasingly fierce competition in the future society. In terms of knowledge, maybe they are right, the strict education could afford the students well-rounded abilities. in particular basic education, the strong basis as a foundation allow students to adjust themselves rapidly to work, learning new skills and so forth. Additionally, indeed, To finish a vast numbers of classes and homeworks are quite painstaking. Whereas, students acquire not only knowledge but also a sense of responsibility and perseverance.

However, on the other hand, stringent education could cause the students to afflict gratuitous pressure at an early age. Childen are, by nature, undeveloped and innocent. Because of that, they have strong curiousity and imagination, whilst excessive pressure could mould them more knowing and their innocence would go extinct, then their strong creativity would be obsolete as well. If that really happen, our future would become a future without imagination. Furthermore, students who experienced too much more strict education, they would find neither attractive nor productive, thus they could never please to continue studying after they graduate.

All in all, students should receive sufficient education but teachers and parents should not excessively clamp down on them and relax them properly.

[ 本帖最后由 shan8006 于 23-12-2010 23:18 编辑 ]

xiaojia

为什么写作分那么低？

3WU

针对LZ第五篇的最致命错误及建议（for band 6）

1。语法（全文严重问题）2。段内中心不够突出（第二段）。3。模板化-审题不清。

语法：
句号该用则用，该用分号请用分号，逗号不是万能的。比如第三段，洋洋洒洒4行字，竟然只用了3个句号。连词不能代替停顿。
“Childen are, by nature, undeveloped and innocent.” “ they have strong curiousity and imagination”  孩子们没有发展成熟，很无辜，能够称 求知欲和联想吗？他们之间能有因果关系吗？

“our future would become a future without imagination” 不知道想说什么。想说 become hopeless?

"students who experienced too much more strict education, they would find neither attractive nor productive, thus they could never please to continue studying after they graduate."
双主语。 students & they. 还有第三句 thus  以后属于另外一个句子，不要吝啬句号的使用。不要觉得句子越长就越显得有水平。有水平的，用适当的简单句，同样能让文章写出排山倒海的气势。



中心句：
你的第二段中心是“  the strict education in fundamental subjects could help student establish  well-rounded abilities in real life.” 应该放到句首。
还有不要乱用 afford.

审题不清，结构不完整。
题目没有要你提出任何措施建议。你却在最后一段提建议，那是离题，甚至可以认为抄袭模板。
最后一段没有对前面观点进行归纳。那是结构不完整。

shan8006

原帖由 xiaojia 于 24-12-2010 00:01 发表

                               
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为什么写作分那么低？

有两方面，一个是阅读影响的，考完阅读我都没心思考下去了。二还是因为能力问题，task 2没写完。

shan8006

原帖由 3WU 于 24-12-2010 00:12 发表

                               
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针对LZ第五篇的最致命错误及建议（for band 6）

1。语法（全文严重问题）2。段内中心不够突出（第二段）。3。模板化-审题不清。

语法：
句号该用则用，该用分号请用分号，逗号不是万能的。比如第三段，洋洋洒 ...

很高兴看到3WU老师再度出手 ，分析得很彻底，我是逗句号用不好，还不知道分号怎么用。
不过我的文章基本是用自己自创的模板，因为每天写一篇，基本也就这样的结构了，而且开头我最喜欢用in this day and age，字多啊，虽然currently更好，但就一个字。可是绝对没有抄袭模板，因为我知道，用模板得不了高分。
十分感谢，您的建议我已经设法在下篇文章里改了。

shan8006

The sixth essay

Cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people the freedom to travel further.  However, some people think it leads to environmental problems. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Answer:

In contemporary society, as the rapid progress of traffic technology people can travel by aeroplane more cost-effectively. Subsequently, Some people are delight with that because it is mean that they can reavel further by inexpensive cost, but other people do not think so. Relatively, they are worry about the environment problem which are making by plane.

Evidently, people have benefited from cheap airline tickets. In particular the needy, the inexpensive cost allowed them to tour or visit the places where are far from them. Furthermore, the exotic labours can go home to visit their families and they have choice so that could never be afraid of the costly airline tickets. In terms of businessmen, as they fly a lot, the cheap air travel could greatly reduce the overhead costs of their enterprises. Then, just because of these, increasing people choose low-cost flight. However, maybe that lead a host of positive effects but are accompanyed by some negative effects.

First of all, airline tickets are, essentially, the main source of airways' income. The low-cost price of airline tickets could drive up airline companies' operating costs. For the sake of reducing those, they would choose low-quality fuel for alternative. It is means that a vast deal with poisonous gas would be discharged to the air. Likewise, airline companies would increase the flights for the benefit of boosting profit. This vicious circle could cause not only a sort of threat of the already deteriorative air pollution but also make excessive noise against people who live near the airport.

In Summary, in my opinion, the low-cost of airline tickets should be encouraged. At the meantime, airline companies could make a range of ticket prices and use high-quality fuel for reduce harmful emission.

neverfree

以lz这种努力程度，如果在全英文环境中，有老师帮着改个作文什么的，
1个月就可以全6了吧

楼主帖子的帖子非常给力
我每篇都仔细看了，建议提不出来；也在跟着写， 发觉自己的第一个问题是，想的太过于复杂以致于即使用中文表达我的观点都很吃力。（这句就是个例子）
共勉

And Merry Christmas!

neverfree

顺便牢骚下那些题目，
像第六篇那样，从前半部分的人道关怀扯到后半部分的环境污染，猛一看实在不知道怎么比较这两者。
考试的时候短时间内理出逻辑，找个自己表达能力范围内的角度入手，确实难度很大。

难怪老外考7分也没那么容易

xiaojia

跟楼主比，我懒惰的太多了，所以成绩也不好。
但是我想知道，这样一直写一直写真的能提高吗？我也想一直写一直写，然后提高。
中国有句古语不是说，“读书破万卷，下笔如有神”吗，是否我们读的太少，光写也没法发现自己的错误，好像每天只是完成任务而已，这样是否会事倍功半？还有G类的阅读太少了，剑桥系列一共才14套。我做完这些，考了几次都5.5，倒是很稳定，说实话，我基本就做一遍，现在想把A类的拿来练习，因为每次考试到最后总有几道题是因为时间紧做不完。迷惑啊，希望各位大牛小牛一点点牛的人给予指导。

gracexuyuan

跟楼上的同感，G类阅读太少了，所以我都是隔天做一次G类阅读，和A类混着做。
作文我觉得还是不要光自己瞎写，还是多看些范文，不妨也背一些。不是有那么句话么：天下文章一大抄。不管中文还是英文，作文都得参照例文，结合自己的观点和写作习惯，形成自己的写作风格。

shan8006

回复neverfree

我也是觉得自己想的太复杂，但学术性论文主语不太能用we，I 啊什么的来写支持句，因为太主观了，所以才会想复杂了，结论没关系因为那是自己的观点，只是不太好用we。毕竟只能代表自己，我的建议是多看看考官的范文，看看ABC们是怎么写文章的。

我以上的题目都是12月雅思G类考试预测题目，呵呵，基本上考试也就差不多这样了。所以审题很重要，今年12/11A类的大作文题目是讨论人们该不该提倡拒绝垃圾食品（好像是），很多人都写跑题了，写垃圾食品的危害去了。

都忘记昨天是圣诞了，呵呵，Merry Christmas!

shan8006

回复xiaojia

一直写一直写，只能说一定能提高，但提高多少得要看了。至少能提高的是写作速度，因为写到一定数量就会有自己的专用模板了，而且绝对是原创哦，你写30篇作文不可能会写出30种风格吧。而且雅思作文范围是广，但归根结底还是那些因素，写个30篇也差不多都覆盖到了。以后再写遇到熟悉的素材都不用想，因为以前写过。唯一不能提高的就是自己的写作错误了，因为自己不知道，所以这个会一直错下去，所以最好写几篇让老师改一下，自己吸取教训再写。

shan8006

原帖由 gracexuyuan 于 25-12-2010 17:09 发表

                               
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跟楼上的同感，G类阅读太少了，所以我都是隔天做一次G类阅读，和A类混着做。
作文我觉得还是不要光自己瞎写，还是多看些范文，不妨也背一些。不是有那么句话么：天下文章一大抄。不管中文还是英文，作文都得参照例文 ...

G类阅读题目不好找，但我们可以逛逛网上的国外超市，房产市场，招聘启事，广告宣传。考试时的题目不就是那些吗。

shan8006

The seventh is letter(逢七一篇书信)

You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems.
Write a letter to your new employer

Answer:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I writing to you as I can't go to work next Monday, although that will be the first day I will work for you.

I'm so sorry about that. My mother was crashed by a car the day before yesterday, her doctor said that she would stay at hospital about one week. I have no relative here, thus I must take care of her untill she get well and leave the hospital. So I beg you for accepting my absence, I promise that I'll go back to work next Wednesday.

I'm very keen to work for you and pretty attach importance to this job opportunity. I have entered for the vocational training to adjust myself to the new working environment. And I have confidence to do my new work well.

Thank you for your understanding in advance, and apologise for my absence again.

Yours sincerely,
Jason Lee

石屹の雪

楼主的议论文太急于用大词，而忽视了语法还有文章逻辑的重要性

好的文章，例如考官的范文都是用简单的词清晰的描绘一件事情的

It is means that a vast deal with poisonous gas would be discharged to the air

就拿楼主的这句来说就犯了一个很低级的错误，试想分数如何会高呢。。

柯罗

楼主基本语法错不少。我觉得也不能埋头猛写，要先把句子写对。有时候需要歇一歇，审视一下自己的短板。
建议你恶补一下语法。用牛津实用英语语法这本就挺好。

shan8006

原帖由 石屹の雪 于 25-12-2010 20:59 发表

                               
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楼主的议论文太急于用大词，而忽视了语法还有文章逻辑的重要性

好的文章，例如考官的范文都是用简单的词清晰的描绘一件事情的

It is means that a vast deal with poisonous gas would be discharged to the  ...

是啊。a vast deal of...没检查。555。
谢谢楼上看得那么仔细，我会注意的。现在在关注考官写的范文，正在想法子和自己的写作习惯结合起来，今天还看了茉莉姐的心得，有点感触，需要时间消化一下，但作文每天还是得写。慢慢总结了。

shan8006

原帖由 柯罗 于 26-12-2010 00:39 发表

                               
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楼主基本语法错不少。我觉得也不能埋头猛写，要先把句子写对。有时候需要歇一歇，审视一下自己的短板。
建议你恶补一下语法。用牛津实用英语语法这本就挺好。

你说的很对，我对语法已经到了深恶痛绝的程度，但不能歇，一歇我就会去玩怪物猎人三了，一边练习一边慢慢改吧。
by the way，我好想玩怪物猎人三啊。。。。

石屹の雪

It is means?! 2个动词啦。。。

crystali99

今天比较有空，发了心得帖，然后再来好为人师一下
根据我自己的经验，来提点意见。一家之言，未必适合楼主情况，兄弟看合适的就拿去，不合适的地方别当真。
In contemporary society, as the rapid progress of traffic technology people can travel by aeroplane more cost-effectively. Subsequently, Some people are delight with that because it is mean that they can reavel further by inexpensive cost, but other people do not think so. Relatively, they are worry about the environment problem which are making by plane.
这是常见的写法，问题在于不够开门见山，前面铺垫现状铺垫得有点多。而且题目让你讨论两种观点后说说你自己的看法，你这里没有提出你自己的观点。
我大概会写成这样：
Travelling by air has become cheaper, enabling people to travel farther but at the same time causing environmental issues. However, I believe it is possible to strike a balance between convenience of travel and protection of environment.


第二段你有意控制结构，第一句说获益，后面举例。举例都很具体。
不过题目似乎说的是travel得更远，从这一点上似乎不太扣题。


第三段联想得很棒，从机票便宜联想到航空公司成本，这样联系上了环保问题，真的很赞。我的思维很局限，换成我我肯定就卡住了。


第二三段的问题是内容有，形式不够好。建议考虑以总分总的结构重新写写，注意一段就一个中心思想，围绕它把话说透。

最后一段一开始两个in有点别扭。你提出了一个建议，即鼓励低价机票但采取措施避免环境污染问题，不过这里突然跳出来有点突兀。是否可以考虑增加第四段，先解释一下这个建议，然后再在第五段总结？


语法问题的确比较多，可能会降低考官阅读舒适度。不过语法是没有捷径的，所以也急不来。楼上有同学建议牛津语法，那书不错，可考虑系统地学学。有了理论再加实践，假以时日一定会大大提高。


楼主加油！祝早日成功！

xiaojia

学习，加油。
怪物猎人，呵呵，我也玩过，不过有个橘红色的奇丑的大鸟我怎么都打不过去，所以就放弃了。


谢谢楼上的牛人们

[ 本帖最后由 xiaojia 于 26-12-2010 02:28 编辑 ]

shan8006

原帖由 石屹の雪 于 26-12-2010 00:56 发表

                               
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It is means?! 2个动词啦。。。

晕,这个没注意.我以前一直这么写的.幸好幸好,以后改正,多谢提醒.

shan8006

茉莉姐也出手了 ,语法是不能速成的,555,我宁愿背单词去...
在看了你的评价前我一直觉得雅思作文应该写四段,开头只提背景不发表看法.现在知道还可以这样写.
非常感谢纠正,正好偷学一下,英文属于厚积薄发的学科,关键还是要多加积累和多练习.
拉丁派系的语言应该是相通的吧,茉莉姐英语那么好,法语应该没问题的,一起加油吧!

shan8006

原帖由 xiaojia 于 26-12-2010 02:27 发表

                               
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学习，加油。
怪物猎人，呵呵，我也玩过，不过有个橘红色的奇丑的大鸟我怎么都打不过去，所以就放弃了。


谢谢楼上的牛人们

现在已经出第三部了,可以带两只猫猫去虐畜.不敢玩,怕一玩就放不下手,我可是技术流,杀你说的那怪鸟可以不穿衣服的...

shan8006

The eighth essay

Some people think competitive sport is important for a child's education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both the views.

Answer:

In this day and age, parents and educational institutions have paid much attention to children's education. Then whether children attend competitive sports that are important for their education or not has become a topic of discussion.

No doubt that, competitive sports could cultivate various skills and minds for kids. They would acquire such as team spirit and senses of competition and cooperation from some competitive sports like football, basketball and volleyball. Those sports not only strengthen children physically, at the meantime, those provide honour to encourage kids to fight for it through their own efforts. It is a sort of experience what children can not acquire from the lecture hall and gives kids preparation for dealing with the fierce competition in the future. However, because of that, kids are suffering the fierce competition at an early age as well.

Maybe, that is a threat against children for tasting the competition at an early age. They have not excellent capability to know how to win a game fair and square but just a wish for win. As they are keen to win, thus they would become aggressive to compete by fair means or foul, even injure the opponents. In all likelihood, These kinds of behaviour would become standard practices for they to deal with other people in the future. Furthermore, kids would be addicted to the sports so that they disregard the schooling. As a consequence, these children would become sports stars fortunately or have insufficient abilities to compete their peers for winning a job opportunity.

In summary, proper quantities of competitive sports could afford children well-rounded, but we should deter them from addiction to the sports and create a fair surrounding of competition.

xiaojia

原帖由 shan8006 于 26-12-2010 13:59 发表

                               
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现在已经出第三部了,可以带两只猫猫去虐畜.不敢玩,怕一玩就放不下手,我可是技术流,杀你说的那怪鸟可以不穿衣服的...

admire一下，我每当要弄挂它时，就莫名的一下被它弄挂，等雅思过了，给你切磋一下，哈哈。你是用psp玩的吗？

shan8006

原帖由 xiaojia 于 27-12-2010 11:43 发表

                               
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admire一下，我每当要弄挂它时，就莫名的一下被它弄挂，等雅思过了，给你切磋一下，哈哈。你是用psp玩的吗？

用大锤子，对着它的脑壳子往死里敲，然后它就晕了倒地，然后再往脑壳子上砸下去，千万别不忍心,以前的敲头党也是这么干的，收益颇丰。是用psp玩的。

shan8006

The ninth essay

Many people think having enough money brings happiness but others think too much money can bring problems. Do you agree or disagree?

Answer:

In current society, there are increasing numbers of affluent people in the world. Some people claim that people could get happiness provided that having enough money, but the others think having excessive money could cause problems.

Indeed, money have played a vital role in persons' life. More precisely, people can not live in this planet without money in present-day society. There are too many things which people have to deal with in every single day, and most of those are need paying from a egg to real estate loan. No doubt that, sufficient materials make persons happier. In contrast, people who live in poverty would suffer extreme misery. They would never enjoy their life but worry about the money which are needed to combat the daily life tomorrow. As a consequence, they are keen to own money as having enough money to surviver that is their hapiness.

However, rich people always own their concern because of money. Their lives are brilliant, they can give their children everything they want. But, there are many of things can not be got through money. Because their kids never lack material things thus they would never treasure those things as well. In all likelihood, they would become wasters ultimately. By contrast, the children of the impoverished would earn things by their effort. At the meantime, they acquire a sense of achievement and a ability of independence as well. In terms of this, the wealthy kids never manage to reach a comparable level.

Overall, In my view, people's happiness are based on the adequate money for managing their daily life, but people own overmany money could cause problems of their descendants' education.