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crystali99

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sevennior

看来你很活跃啊。。。顶你一下。

crystali99

嗯，跟写作卯上了

原帖由 sevennior 于 9-12-2010 15:42 发表

                               
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看来你很活跃啊。。。顶你一下。

sevennior

原帖由 crystali99 于 9-12-2010 15:44 发表

                               
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嗯，跟写作卯上了

你的成绩呢。。。借鉴一下看看什么时候才能到你的水平啊

crystali99

之前考过三次，写作分别为6/6.5/7，感觉很迷惘，不得法、无方向，拿7那次我觉得是运气成分居多，可能因为主题比较有话讲。
找写作老师上过一次一对一课，她评估我的稳定水平就是6-6.5。她也让我看清了自己的问题：主要是两点：1、论据组织；2、口头语到书面语的完全过渡。

最近这些天开始潜心研究写作，目标是在2月份之前稳定在7分。

[ 本帖最后由 crystali99 于 9-12-2010 16:04 编辑 ]

crystali99

Note 2：
出处：https://www.teachers.cambridgeesol.org/ts/teachingresources/resourcedetails?resId=2371
摘录内容：（此处为讨论两种意见然后给出自己意见的题型。特别关注红色字体部分的结构样例，斜体字部分为例文）
Topic: The care of old people is a growing problem. Some say the government should care for old people. Others say that it is the family’s responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A composition where you discuss a topic (discursive writing) may involve discussing the advantages and disadvantages of different solutions. The structure needs to be very clear.

Here is one way of organising your answer:

1. Introduction

General statement about the topic

2. Body

• A Arguments for solution 1 (+ supporting evidence)
• B Arguments against solution 1 (+ supporting evidence)
• C Arguments for solution 2 (+ supporting evidence)
• D Arguments against solution 2 (+ supporting evidence)

Continue in the same way with any other solutions you would like to include


3. Conclusion giving writer’s final opinion based on above arguments

N.B. This topic shows just one kind of discursive writing. Others include proposing solutions and justifying opinions. These require different structures.

Read the writing below and mark on it the following different parts in its structure. Write the appropriate letter beside each part – e.g. 1, 2B.

The care of old people is an issue all over the world as it is no longer clear who has the responsibility for looking after old people. There are two main choices: the government or the family.

If the government pays for the care of old people this usually means that the old people go into old people’s homes. In these all people are given equal and high quality care. Countries such as Sweden operate this system very efficiently.

The problem is that this solution is very expensive. The money comes from tax and many countries simply can’t afford it. It also often means that old people go into homes where they know no one and have nothing to do.

The alternative is for families to support their elderly relatives. In theory this provides loving care and means the old person can be an active member of the family. In practice, it often does not work out, as families don’t have enough money, and so, much bitterness is created, and the old people are neglected. I can see this happening all around me in my country where there is no government support for old people.

It is clear that neither of these solutions is good. Therefore, it seems to me that a mixture of the two is the best solution. The government should provide money to families to look after their elderly relatives. But I also think that old people should save up money during their working lives to look after themselves in old age.

[ 本帖最后由 crystali99 于 9-12-2010 21:58 编辑 ]

happysnow521

谢谢楼主分享。
我最不会写作文了

crystali99

Note 3

例文一篇
出处：http://www.ielts-exam.net/IELTS-Writing-Samples/ielts-writing.htm


Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children.
Do you agree or disagree?



This model has been prepared by an examiner as an example of a very good answer. However, please note that this is just one example out of many possible approaches.


I tend to agree that young children can be negatively affected by too much time spent on the computer every day. This is partly because sitting in front of a screen for too long can be damaging to both the eyes and the physical posture of a young child, regardless of what they are using the computer for.


However, the main concern is about the type of computer activities that attract children. These are often electronic games that tend to be very intense and rather violent. The player is usually the ‘hero’ of the game and too much exposure can encourage children to be self-centred and insensitive to others.


Even when children use a computer for other purposes, such as getting information or emailing friends, it is no substitute for human interaction. Spending time with other children and sharing nonvirtual experiences is an important part of a child's development that cannot be provided by a computer.


In spite of this, the obvious benefits of computer skills for young children cannot be denied. Their adult world will be changing constantly in terms of technology and the Internet is the key to all the knowledge and information available in the world today. Therefore it is important that children learn at an early age to use the equipment enthusiastically and with confidence as they will need these skills throughout their studies and working lives.


I think the main point is to make sure that young children do not overuse computers. Parents must ensure that their children learn to enjoy other kinds of activity and not simply sit at home, learning to live in a virtual world.



阅读例文的感受：
本文没有使用常见的“模板”，但条理清晰。第一段开门见山说孩子用电脑多了不好——第一句是观点：不好；第二句是原因：为什么不好。第二段说主要是用来打游戏，害处如何。第三段说即使不是用来打游戏，也不好，因为无法替代真实的活动。第四段平衡一下，说电脑的好处。以为世界瞬息万变网络非常重要，电脑要从娃娃抓起。最后一段总结，因为前面说了好和不好，所以作者的观点是：还是能用，但是别过量。
不过，按照平常所听到看到的，各段间的连接似乎不明显？尤其是第二段？……我是不是受模板毒害了？

bowll

顶楼主~~
写作的确很难, 不过.....提高了会很有成就感!