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老公1月23号考G，作文在准备中，写了篇大作文，麻烦各位能否帮忙看下有无需要改正的错误，估算下能达6分不。谢谢谢谢！
标题：some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.Other believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful aldults.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It seems that competition is the nature of human beings.Some people believe that a competition group of people has more competition than those of less competition ones.They believe that it is essential to encourage children to be more competitive.While others believe that the human society is a collective one,it is more useful to teach children co-operating with each other.In this essay,I will disscuss both of the ideals and present my own opinion.
On the angle of natural evolution,competition is the most important to species.It is not only among different animals but also within the some kind of ones.For example,the birds compete each ather to get foods from their parents to servive.In fact,it is the competition which makes species survive the cruel natural environment and thrive in the world.This situation is similar to human society.The competition between countries and people is also very serious.A competative person or country can have better material life or social status in the industrialized world.So it is very important to foster the children’sense of competition.
In the other hand,human society is quite different from other animal ones.The human beings depends on intelligence and collaboration to build up mordern civiliation.In the modern society,team-work spirit is considered as the most important attribute to evaluate a person.A company needs the staffs to collaborate together to win the most profit.It requires people skills of collaboration,listening and compromising.Individual heros are romantic in movies but not suitable in reality.
Hence,I believe that children should be taugh both of competition and co-operation.Competition makes one to fulfill his or her own potential while co-operation gives him or her ability to work together well with the others. |
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发表于 9-12-2009 11:59:37
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楼主
谢谢谢谢！
你鸭子考过了，能给点意见和建议不
非常非常感谢鼓励！谢谢！
